The Return to Empathy
The ability to understand and share the feelings of another (Oxford Dictionary).
Why This?
Because I feel like I grew up in a world where most examples around me seemed to suggest that having empathy meant being weak.
Why do you care? There probably is a reason why it’s happening.
That’s something I probably heard a lot around me from people being too busy or too stressed by their own lives to find the will to care about others.
Even now, looking around, it seems to me that empathy is almost embarrassing for some people, not fit for business plans nor for political strategies.
I see leaders hide behind ROIs. I see them run from humanity in their constant search for power. I personally witnessed polls mattering more than communities or than entire societies.
But do numbers count more than people? And what are people other than the sum of their feelings?
We are now learning to automate and replace our thoughts with algorithms & AI. Will we quietly start outsourcing emotion too?
A lot of questions again, I know.
Real Life
This is where I should be giving you concrete examples about how lack of empathy is damaging the world we live in, but I just realized that it might be too obvious.
Extremism, polarization, wars - all of these are to me clear effects of what happens when leaders don’t show empathy.
Simplistic? Not at all. Solutions to global issues are, more often than not, based on common sense, and I think empathy should be “common sense” for as many leaders as possible.
Take this as a concrete example: Elon Musk wants to save Western civilization from empathy - an effort to combat what he referred to as “civilizational suicidal empathy.”
What do you think about that?
Clarity Point
A large study from 2023 suggests that environmental and mental health factors influence the development of empathetic behaviors.
These factors may include unhealthy family dynamics, experiences with discrimination, or depression.
Other possible factors associated with low empathy include some personality & developmental disorders like the narcissistic disorder or psychopathy.
Or you might have not witnessed it in your family so you actually don’t know what it is and how to manifest it.
The good news is that empathy can be learned.
You can read this article from the American Psychological Association to find out how you can be more empathetic. It also mentions some negative effects of being too empathetic.
Extremes, right? Always bad for you.
One Beautiful Image from The Netherlands
Old houses by a canal in Amsterdam. Photo is my own.
I saw a lot of smiling faces in The Hague & in Amsterdam while traveling for work. People seemed kind and were always nice.
Good show, Netherlands! I’ll be back!
Before You Go:
This should be taught in schools.
I think the world needs an epiphany: we can’t function without feelings.
Empathy can be rediscovered as a kind of intelligence - the one that helps us understand each other better, stay connected, lead better, and stay human at the end of the day in a world that keeps fragmenting.
Do you ever feel that if people would understand each other better, the whole world would be a much better place?
Or, the other way around, do you think empathy can do more harm than good?
Don’t be afraid to contradict me.
I might be idealistic (an idealistic engineer, imagine that!) but I think about human kindness a lot.
Until next time, thank you for your attention to this matter ;)
Have a great week ahead,
Alex
The future might not seem so bright right now, but we can work together to make it brighter. If you want to stay with me on the journey of the INTEGRATOR newsletter, you’re always welcome here.
Do you know someone who could be more empathetic?
…and start the conversation :)
I think that some people in key roles, especially in politics, are deeply disconnected with the concept of empathy. No names needed, some people will pop-up instantly in our minds when we think about this, they represent the true definition of "what is this empathy thing that you're talking about?" :) Great read!
I really enjoyed reading this & I strongly agree. When people grow up without any moral framework present in their lives, it can be quite easy to confuse what feels good with what’s right (the concept that philosopher MacIntyre called “emotivism”: whatever feels good to me is moral). But empathy should not be perceived as a “nice-to-have”, but one of the few skills that lets us connect and understand each other. We should be willing to care, even when it costs nothing.